STEP FAMILY STALKERS!!!

This really is a horror story but one I NEED to tell, if I don't, I'll either go totally insane or commit suicide!!!! Surprised I haven't done both already. Maybe I should write a book!
What you are about to read is true! Some bits sound beyond belief, but nonetheless they are absolutely true and not exaggerated in any way! I could take a lie detector test about every part of this and pass with flying colours.

I see so many people with step kids and they seem to get on O.K. They just act like an extended family. Whereas mine, I've tried, MY GOD! I've tried! For twelve bloody years I've worked hard at trying to create a happy extended family, maybe I tried too hard! I'm not trying to make out I'm perfect, or a martyr, I'm not, but read on and see if you could have coped with what I've had!!

My two step kids stayed over every other weekend, every Christmas/New year and any other time their Mother wanted them to come to us so she could go out for the night, weekend, go on holiday or whatever. The youngest has a problem, she has a much younger mental age than what she actually is, but that does not excuse the terrible way she has behaved.
They would often arrive in need of a good meal and a bath, I cooked, sewed, washed, tried to be a friend, a shoulder to cry on when they had problems. Without taking over from their own Mum, I tried to be the best Stepmum I could. It was very difficult, they could be nasty little buggers when they felt like it, and would say things that REALLY hurt, the amount of times I sat and cried after they had gone, you wouldn't believe.....Yep, normal up to now you say.

The eldest of the two is fantastic now, I love her to bits! And I think we are very good friends. Some things she knows about, others she doesn't, some, like the nasty letters, she will probably have forgotten about.
The youngest (now 21) has been, and still is, making my and my Husbands life a living hell!
Their Dad would be very upset at this blog, but after all I have been through, I couldn't give a damn anymore! He seemed totally oblivious, or not particularly bothered about what was going on!

The youngest had a very creepy habit of staring, really staring! at me all the time, (I've not seen her for a while and have no intention of seeing her, hopefully never again!!!) she would stand for ages at the top of the stairs just watching me in total silence! She was only about 10 at the time, but it used to freak me out! All this was happening while her Father was at work, when he came home, she would act quite normal (so she wasn't that mentally affected!).....Hmmm, getting a little weird you say.

She has taken over from her Mother. Their Mother absolutely hates me! (If I had taken my Husband away from her I would understand, but they had never married and had been apart for many years before I came on the scene!) The Mother (over the years), has threatened to put bricks through our windows, sent very nasty letters with the kids (quite a few were written by the kids!), and sent friends to demand money. At one point for quite a number of weeks, she constantly rang my Parents, swearing and demanding they tell my Husband to give her more money. (to this day, I have no idea how she found out their number? Then again... the kids visited my Parents house (just the once, that I remember), back in the days when they made it very plain I was never going to be accepted by them).
My Parents (in their seventies) became so frightened they stopped answering the phone completely, me and the rest of my family had to use a special ringing code to get them to answer. I myself have had to change our number three times over the years! (How come three times?... The kids used to ring their mother if ever I left them alone so she could do 1471 and get the new number!!!!). Yet still my Husband seemed totally unphased by all this??? ...Yep, definitely getting weird you say.

THIS IS THE REALLY SCARY BIT!!!!............
Their Uncle used to follow me in his car wherever I went, (even on occasion, all the way to my work!). He constantly turned up at the house, his excuse was he wanted to see/speak to my Husband, but (funnily enough!) it was always when my Husband was at work and I was alone in the house. I eventually got to the point where I would hide and pretend I wasn't home! I would sit in the bedroom crying and shaking while he banged on the door. ONCE HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO GET INTO MY HOUSE USING HIS OWN FRONT DOOR KEY!!!

I know any rational person reading this will be thinking "Why didn't she ring the Police?" I can see now, I should have, but at the time, my mind was absolutely scrambled, this kind of thing happening was so incredibly mad, that I don't think my head was actually accepting what was going on, maybe it was fear, maybe shock, maybe I thought no-one would believe such a ridiculous story. I don't know. My Husband being not the slightest bit bothered about the situation and constantly telling me "don't let it bother you" made me start to think it was me being paranoid, maybe I was going insane? At least I had proof about the 'key' episode as the eldest was with me in the house at the time, even she was frightened and this was her own Uncle!....Yep, gone beyond weird! Definitely not normal!

I don't understand what we (I say we, but it's me it all seems aimed at!) have done to deserve all this, my Husband has NEVER failed in paying maintenance, he is STILL paying, due to the Mother informing the CSA he hadn't been, so he is having to back-pay £9000 (which he had argued down from £26000!!!!). He hands over money to her (I am your Daughter you know!!) whenever she says she needs any! (Funny thing is, me, his eldest and actually, he himself, doubts the girl is his!). Especially as her Birth Certificate states 'Father Unknown'!!!!!

The phone constantly rings, day in, day out, sometimes the number is withheld, sometimes she forgets to withhold it, sometimes she actually speaks. At one point she rang every five to ten minutes for three quarters of an hour over a number of evenings!!!! He is at work, I say I will get him to ring her when he comes in, but she carries on and on and on, "is he home yet?", "is he home yet?", "is he home yet?"!!! My Husbands mobile (which he very often has switched off to stop the constant ringing, thereby stopping me from being able to contact him) shows daily messages saying '23 missed calls', '39 missed calls', '28 missed calls'.

The really idiotic thing is, I still try!! About a year or so ago, my Husband pleaded with me to let her move in with us as she was going through a real tough time at home, none of the rest of her family would take her in, and she had nowhere else to go. I eventually gave in and said yes!!! WHAT A BLOODY IDIOT AM I????
After a number of months I could stand it no longer, it was O.K. for my Husband, he was at work all day, I was the one stuck with her all day, as at the time I had an evening job, I didn't like things she was saying and doing, and she was having a very bad influence on our own little girl who started acting strange (our daughter was five or six at the time and had, up to then, been a normal happy child, but after a while she started drawing/scribbling on walls, furniture and cushions with biro and felt tips. (The most frightening thing was WHAT she was scribbling! 'No!', and 'Leve me alon!') She stopped singing and giggling, it broke my heart to see her personality change so dramatically, she became introverted and aggressive) I then understood why none of the rest of her family would take her in!! ENOUGH! I insisted my stepdaughter move out. Since she has gone, our Daughter, thankfully, has reverted to her happy little self, seems none the worse for wear, and doesn't remember much about it all. The words 'leve me alon' and 'No' are still on the bedding box in pink felt tip as it won't wash off! I'm glad in a way, as I can point to it if ever my Husband wants HER (I am your Daughter you know!!) to stop over or visit!

She has recently (May 2007), started being extremely obsessive regarding wanting to see our Daughter all of a sudden, who, now aged seven, is not bothered about visiting or seeing her stepsisters, or, in fact, any other members of the family as she is more interested in her after school friends and playing out. I have been told by the eldest that she has received phone texts about our Daughter saying 'She is MY sister you know!!', 'I WANT to see her and I WILL find a way!!' What the hell does that mean! Sounds to me like it's going to be just like the Uncle episode. The eldest has texted and emailed saying how worried she is regarding this obsession with our Daughter. I am now terrified of letting our Daughter out of my sight. If she plays on the Street, I have to be out in the garden or at the window watching. I have warned her school that on no account must they let her go home with anyone other than me, no matter WHAT they are told!. I don't know what my stepdaughter may be capable of? I DO know there is a tremendous amount of jealousy towards our Daughter and hatred towards me. Once again my Husband thinks I shouldn't get so worked up about all this!!! He doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered by it all. He just tells me "She won't do anything", "Let it all go over your head" or "Don't let it worry you" SORRY! BUT HOW! He may see this as a normal way of life, but JEEZ! How laid back can you be! What if I do as he suggests and ignore it all then something does happen!!! No!! I'm not accepting that!!

All I can think of now, is moving far far away. I've had a nervous breakdown, lost my job, been to Councilling and am on anti-depressants. I just can't take anymore!!

What do you think? Am I paranoid? Should I just ignore it and pretend it isn't happening? Should I write a book?
In Fairytales it's always the Stepmother who is the evil one, my story has a different twist to it!

UPDATES (2007)......
She now has a serious boyfriend and they have moved into a flat together, but she still won't leave us alone! (I am your daughter you know!!)
Ring.....ring.....email.....ring.....email.....ring..,..!

Latest money demands....(no idea if she actually gets any?) It's just what I overhear, am told, or read in her emails.

No 1... (May)......She wants her Father to buy her shopping for her!
No 2... (May)......More money! (I am your Daughter you know!!)

No 3... (June)......New washer for the flat!
No 4... (June)......New carpets for the flat!
No 5... (June)......New curtains for the flat!
No 6... (June)......More money! (I am your Daughter you know!!)

No 7... (July)......She owes someone money, "Dad I need you to pay the debt!"
No 8... (July)......Dad, Where is my new carpet?
No 9... (July)......Meet her in Asda, she needs some shopping!
No 10... (July).....She needs some new trainers!
No 11... (July).....She has put a £20 deposit on a carpet, "Dad, YOU owe the balance of £110!"
No 12... (July).....A very long letter to her 'Dad' not written by her as there were no spelling mistakes (he showed it me). Calling her mother 'a shit' (her mother won't give her any money), and moaning that he doesn't give her enough, stating again about the carpet money, admitting to some degree that she has been a bitch (her words), and admitting about things she has called me, (to who I do not know, nor what she has called me) her excuse was - anyone can make a mistake!
She said she wrote it in a letter so I wouldn't see it. "I don't want HER reading it as I want to hear what YOU have to say, not HER!"
This, I think, is because I emailed her a few weeks back when my Husband was extremely ill with Cellulitis of the face, (it was quite frightening to look at and could, if not cared for properly, have progressed into meningitis!) He ended up drugged up with antibiotics. I explained in my email that he couldn't ring, text or email due to his face being so swollen. It was double the size and his eyes were almost shut, he looked terribly deformed. His skin was burning to the touch and a horrible purple colour. (I cried, but only when he and our Daughter couldn't see me).
I told the eldest stepdaughter not to visit as it would have upset her too much to see him like that, he was in a very bad way. I kept our own Daughter out of the room so as not to frighten her, she accepted my excuse of I didn't want her to catch what Daddy had.
The youngest stepdaughter though, took great offence at the fact that 'I' had dared to contacted her instead of him!
Her exact words by return email were, " Fine, you're not well, but that is no excuse for HER emailing me instead of you!!"

(I think he is finally beaten. He lasted a lot longer than I did! He is now suffering through all this, and has been sinking slowly into deep depression for quite a while, and is on anti-depressants. I feel helpless and useless, I really wish I could help him more but I have lost all my confidence to go out and get a job since my breakdown.
All this is affecting our marriage too. Today is our 11th Wedding Anniversary, he forgot! (I didn't even bother to moan or shout!). We have never managed to go out and celebrate our Anniversary, Birthdays, Christmas or New Year because his ex used to make sure we had the girls stop over.
He came home from work this evening, ate his meal and went to bed, this is becoming a regular thing now and he is sometimes is in bed before 7.30pm. (That's even before our seven year old!) He gets up again about 5am. for work, (we don't get to see much of him).
He works SO hard! But we can't afford a holiday, we never go out anywhere together and the house needs quite a lot of repairs, only minor, like a leaky kitchen radiator (I just put tea towels down), some double glazing seals have gone, and the shower is now broken, but they all add up! Some jobs I have been waiting for four years to have fixed, but she takes up all spare cash and even some that isn't spare!
She is 21 for goodness sake, has a boyfriend (also with no job) and a flat, I know she has a slight problem mentally, but at least she can read, write and talk and HAS previously been in employment.
I know a few people mentally worse off than her (two of my customers, now friends, for example, at the pub where I used to work, were unable to talk properly and would only grunt and point to what they wanted but they were lovely guys and over time, with concentration, I learned to understand them and we actually managed short conversations, it was very hard for both them and me, but they loved trying to talk with me. Now, if ever I see them in the Street, they always give me a great big smile, shout what sounds sort of like my name and come over for a chat, THEY both have their own places AND A JOB!).

No 13... (July)....Got a phone call from eldest tonight, it seems youngest has rang her saying we are all a waste of time and she hates us all. Guess it's because she hasn't had any money lately!

At this point may I stop to give Tracey from http://thirdpartyopinion.blogspot.com/ my greatest thanks for helping me with this problem, I have been awaiting an appointment from a psychiatric councillor for many months and in the meantime it has been wonderful to have someone to talk (type) to and to have different ideas and perspective on this problem, she has helped tremendously and I will be following her advice and distance myself from it all. Once again Tracey - A BIG THANKYOU X.

Tracey's advice works well, he has been saying about how he can't afford all this any more. I just shrugged, I'm having nothing to do with it. Hey, feels good!

No 14... (August)...Constant ring, ring,ring, text, text, latest is email, she has no food and no money again, Oh, and to let him know it's her 21st this month, she even informed him of the date too!!!

No 15...(September)...Ring...ring...ring...her Dad had had his accident by this time, the fall down the stairs onto the fish tank resulting in an ambulance trip to A & E for stitches to his back. Ring...ring...ring...NOT ONCE DID SHE ASK HOW HER DAD WAS, ring...ring...ring...it was just "get him to ring me, it's really important, it's about my landline!" (Guess she hasn't paid the bill and is about to be cut off !)

No 16, 17, 18...etc....etc....etc.... (from September and until the day we die)...no food, no money, needs her phone bill paying, no money, no money, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto.